Michelle Bachmann Will Eradicate Unemployment.

Michelle Bachmann has a plan to "virtually wipe out unemployment". This is absolutely amazing, considering the unemployment rate in this country hasn't been at 0% in all the time we've been tracking that statistic way back in 1948. For the stats nerds: the lowest recorded rate was 2.5% in May and June of 1953, the top corporate tax rate at that time was 47%.

What is Bachmann's job creating strategy? Training for displaced workers, perhaps? Tax incentives for businesses to add employees? Public works projects like those that put millions to work during the great depression?

No, Michelle has a better idea. She wants to remove regulations that kill jobs; no surprise for a Republican of course but just wait til you hear which regulations are killing jobs. George Stephanopoulis had the unenviable job of interviewing Bachmann on the issue. Check out the video. For extra credit count how many times she actually answers the question she's been asked. For nerd points watch real close at the beginning you'll get a bonus Bachmannism where she tells you who she's really trying to take the country back from.This girl doesn't lie nearly as much as they say...

George asks Bachmann about a statement she made about eliminating the minimum wage:

"If we took away the minimum wage...we could potentially wipe out unemployment because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level"

George gives her an opportunity to offer evidence for that statement as though it's one of her many "mistruths" (Please, PLEAse, PLEASE check out politifact.com for more information on Bachmann's war on facts ) but I think there's a more interesting way to look at this one.

Bachmann is correct. Yeah, I said it. She's right. I do not disagree with her at all. She's 100% correct. Getting rid of the minimum wage would create thousands, hell - millions of jobs.We could wipe out unemployment with a copy of the United States Code and some whiteout. No one would be out of work again, employment for all! It's utopia!

OF COURSE YOU CAN ELIMINATE UNEMPLOYMENT IF THERE ARE NO GUIDELINES FOR WAGES YOU FREAKING NUTBAG!

Republicans will tell you themselves that they want to eliminate all government programs, as well as stripping labor laws. This means there is no unemployment insurance in their America, there are no restrictions on how many hours your employer can require you to work and certainly no health and safety laws. In a society with no safety nets your options would literally be to work for whatever pittance the employer is willing to offer, or die of starvation. Without a minimum wage requirement McDonalds could literally hire you for $1 a day, or forgo wages entirely and pay you in food from the restaurant - your kids could be malnourished and obese at the same time. Anyone with money could hire you to do pretty much anything, and not have to pay you for your labor at all. Labor laws are what require your employer to, oh I don't know, PAY YOU. I suppose in that way they do stifle job creation... two points to Ms Bachmann. I bet corporations could hire a whole bunch of new employees if they didn't have to issue them a paycheck at the end of the week.

There are about 14 Million unemployed people in the US right now. Imagine competing for work with someone willing to make nearly nothing, just so they could attempt to feed their children. Try to tell me that this wouldn't push every workers wages down over time. Nevermind the overall economic disaster this would create, a consumer economy without consumers. What kind of a third world nation do Republicans, and Ms. Bachmann, want to see?

I would like to thank you, Alaska, gold stars all around.

There's a new poll out of Alaska (funded by a conservative, mind you) which shows Barack Obama defeating Sarah Palin by a pretty decent margin were there an election today. So on behalf of the lower 48, I salute you Alaska, for your sage choice.

My one and only tirade on the subject of Palin, whom I don't like to discuss for reasons that will be listed below:

First, I must admit I get annoyed when I see any news acknowledging Sarah Palin at all. It's actually not really personal, I just don't think the American media ever features her with any more thought than they give about featuring a dangerous car chase or a celebrity scandal because that's all she is.

She is sensationalism wrapped in a brain melting coating of stupid. And worse than that she can't take criticism, its always "gotcha journalism" or "liberal media" blah blah blah, the self pity is overwhelming. Lets never mind Barack Obama STILL has to deal with people accusing him of being a secret Kenyan/Indonesian Muslim from space, and the man zip-lined out of a helicopter and killed Osama bin Laden himself. Ok, tongue in cheek, but really, if all you do while you're on the media is complain about the media, it gets old fast. If you want to avoid being mocked, I dunno read a damn book or newspaper now and then so you're not always caught off guard by any question that isn't about how awesome the founding fathers are, though I doubt you could name even half of them.

But even worse, she can't keep a job or a hobby or a commitment of any kind in the public arena. Tip: If you want to prove you are ready for the highest public office in the land... stop quitting. I'm pretty sure no great politician in this country from John Adams to Theodore Roosevelt ever quit their job because the media were big meany heads to them.

You know who the media was when John Adams was running for re-election? Thomas Fucking Jefferson. He was slandered up and down by one of the most brilliant men alive, but did he quit halfway through the election? no.

Theodore Roosevelt lost the Republican nomination to Taft, did he cry and go home to Wasilla? no. He formed his own damn party called the Bull Moose, and said hell naw, I'm taking this election. He was even shot once and went on to give a speech an hour later bleeding through his clothes. Alright so Roosevelt has big balls, specifically bull moose balls, but the point still stands, if you can't stand even one full term as governor of Alaska... maybe you should re-evaluate.

So with the help of this poll, please media, stop covering her already. It's like watching a wounded moth sputtering around in a dirty rain puddle, its just getting sad. And when the moth talks its really annoying.

If Michelle Bachmann got her way in the classroom. Be afraid.

Oh boy a Separation of Church and State Question...

Santorum is making non-points, no one said if you have faith you have to stay out of government, I love how the evangelicals love to victimize themselves.

And Ron Paul is apparently rewriting United States law, paraphrasing, 'Congress shall not make laws restricting your ability to practice your CHRISTIAN faith.' Too bad for the roughly 20% of non Christians in the country?

Damn it I agreed with Ron Paul!

....on one thing, less military spending, but I do like government regulating what goes into our food and products and such...

Look what Grandpa Paul got me for Xmas, another Asbestos sweater!

Reasons I Could Not Imagine Being a Republican

Based on watching this debate I'm thinking I may need to start updating my list of reasons I could never be a Republican.

1. It is an agreed upon point amongst Republicans that the FDA regulates food too much. With all the e. coli and salmonella scares this seems like a place where government regulation is reasonable and needed. Same with the EPA, which Bachman advocated disbanding earlier. Left to their profit motives WHY would corporations NOT dump toxic waste wherever was convenient??

NASA and Newt

NASA is an example of government waste, and the money we've spent there should have been used to incentivise the private sector.

Question - If the government should never interfere with private business why should the government give money to those businesses?

Would you say the auto bailout program was a sucess?

Romney - no, it was a waste of  money. 17 billion dollars was wasted (Mitt forgets it was repaid, I assume) I do appreciate though that he acknowledged that Bush arranged it in the first place.

Santorum - the bailout was all about handouts for the unions

Bachman - well, Bachman wandered off into talking about TARP, a completely different program.... oops.

Drinking to Numb the Partisan Pain

So as my inaugural post as a co-contributor on this blog that my darling sister has launched, I thought I would inform our audience that me and the wife will be partaking in a friendly drinking game to the theme of the first Republican debate of the 2012 season.

Tonight marks what I both love and dread... the start of another election cycle.

A sip of margarita will be had every time one of our star repubs says freedom, constitution, founding fathers or Obamacare. Wish us luck in surviving the night with our sobriety intact.

As an additional spot of fun I thought I would give a pre-show ranking of who in our crowd of crazies has the most potential of batshittery spewing out of their mouth

Starting last

7. Herman Cain - I don't know you. All I do know is that you are the Tea Party's "black friend."

6.Tim Pawlenty - You have the personality of a manila folder and quite frankly I'm not sure you even have the creativity to be crazy.

5. Mitt Romney - I know, I know, I'm not given good ole Mitt enough credit but quite frankly the remaining four would out-crazy Mittens short of him opening the Book of Mormon and reading it word for word on stage.

4. Newt Gingrich - The man who is always touted as "the brain of the republican party" and whose campaign has already all but disintegrated just out of the gate. I predict he marries someone, they get a terminal illness and he leaves them before the night is out.

3. Ron Paul - As sweet of an old coot as he is, he's a wacky libertarian. As much as no one is a fan of the government or taxes... we need roads and Civil Rights Acts and such, no offense Ronny.

2. Rick Santorum - Google him, it'll make you despair.

1. Michelle Bachmann - LOOK AT HER EYES. The woman has no shred of sanity left in her, she puts the "Ba" in Batshit Crazy, she is the ultimate queen of the Know-Nothings. Not only do I not like her for her political stances, but I loathe everything she stands for. Bachmann is the quintessential anti-intellectual Republican.

She is the same woman who once said

''(Gay marriage) is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years. I am not understating that."

Fail.

Ann Coulter on the Kent State shootings

86/100

Today's disgusting republican quote comes from Ann Coulter, conservative author and purveyor of many statements that could earn a spot on this list. I remember seeing her books on my father's nightstand when I was a teenager, which may explain why my liberalism is just as offensive as my gayness to him, but I digress. Ann has made many statements over the years (feel free to google around a bit, just follow the search suggestions. I'll wait.) but this one takes place on June 7th in an appearance on Sean Hannity's show in which she and Sean are discussing Ann's upcoming book "Demonic: How the Liberal Mob is Endangering America".

"There was the shooting at Kent State, and gosh I know liberals don't like it and you look at Nexis and 'it was embarrassing for the whole country.' I'm not embarrassed; that's what you do with the mob. They were monstrous at Kent State. They were being led by Bill Ayers' best friend and lover."

 Why is it disgusting?

• Four unarmed college students were killed, 9 others were wounded, at Kent State University in 1970 by members of the Ohio National Guard during a protest against the American invasion of Cambodia. The Guardsmen fired 67 rounds over a period of 13 seconds into the crowd of demonstrators.
• Did I mention that the students were unarmed and Ann's perspective here is that "that's what you do with the mob"?
• Ann manages to work Bill Ayers into the story. Bill is best known as the "pal" in Sarah Palin's many "pals around with terrorists" statements during the 2008 presidential election.*

Score:

86 points out of a possible 100. 10 points for each murdered student, 4 points for each wounded student and I'm awarding 10 bonus points for managing to squeeze in the Fox News dog whistle of "Bill Ayers" right there at the end.

Video

*Bill Ayers was never convicted, nor charged, with any crime and is an advocate for education reform.