I would like to thank you, Alaska, gold stars all around.

There's a new poll out of Alaska (funded by a conservative, mind you) which shows Barack Obama defeating Sarah Palin by a pretty decent margin were there an election today. So on behalf of the lower 48, I salute you Alaska, for your sage choice.

My one and only tirade on the subject of Palin, whom I don't like to discuss for reasons that will be listed below:

First, I must admit I get annoyed when I see any news acknowledging Sarah Palin at all. It's actually not really personal, I just don't think the American media ever features her with any more thought than they give about featuring a dangerous car chase or a celebrity scandal because that's all she is.

She is sensationalism wrapped in a brain melting coating of stupid. And worse than that she can't take criticism, its always "gotcha journalism" or "liberal media" blah blah blah, the self pity is overwhelming. Lets never mind Barack Obama STILL has to deal with people accusing him of being a secret Kenyan/Indonesian Muslim from space, and the man zip-lined out of a helicopter and killed Osama bin Laden himself. Ok, tongue in cheek, but really, if all you do while you're on the media is complain about the media, it gets old fast. If you want to avoid being mocked, I dunno read a damn book or newspaper now and then so you're not always caught off guard by any question that isn't about how awesome the founding fathers are, though I doubt you could name even half of them.

But even worse, she can't keep a job or a hobby or a commitment of any kind in the public arena. Tip: If you want to prove you are ready for the highest public office in the land... stop quitting. I'm pretty sure no great politician in this country from John Adams to Theodore Roosevelt ever quit their job because the media were big meany heads to them.

You know who the media was when John Adams was running for re-election? Thomas Fucking Jefferson. He was slandered up and down by one of the most brilliant men alive, but did he quit halfway through the election? no.

Theodore Roosevelt lost the Republican nomination to Taft, did he cry and go home to Wasilla? no. He formed his own damn party called the Bull Moose, and said hell naw, I'm taking this election. He was even shot once and went on to give a speech an hour later bleeding through his clothes. Alright so Roosevelt has big balls, specifically bull moose balls, but the point still stands, if you can't stand even one full term as governor of Alaska... maybe you should re-evaluate.

So with the help of this poll, please media, stop covering her already. It's like watching a wounded moth sputtering around in a dirty rain puddle, its just getting sad. And when the moth talks its really annoying.